Checklist 1 of 3

The first week, day by day.

Do not go from "always together" to "alone" in one morning. A week of graded steps lets both of you find the sticking points while you are still close enough to fix them, and it ends with a Friday that feels ordinary.

The night before day one

• The route is written down as landmarks and taped inside the front door. You have both walked it at school time at least twice.
• You have agreed the departure time and the "no later than" time, and set an alarm for the first, not the second.
• The arrival routine is agreed (see below) and tested once from school with the same phone, watch or office desk it will use.
• The family agreement is filled in and signed by everyone, including the child.
• The bag is packed the night before, with the things below, so the morning is about leaving and nothing else.

The week

1. Monday — you lead

   Walk it together, you slightly ahead, narrating every decision out loud: where you stop, what you look for, why you wait. Boring on purpose.

2. Tuesday — they lead

   Same route, the child a few steps ahead, you behind and silent except for a safety stop. Notice where they hesitate. Talk about it after school, not on the corner.

3. Wednesday — they lead, you watch from further back

   Half a block behind. If a crossing goes badly, you step in and the week pauses here; that is information, not failure.

4. Thursday — halfway alone

   Walk to an agreed point past the hardest crossing; they finish alone. Do the arrival routine for real. Do not stand there watching them go — turn and walk home; they will look back.

5. Friday — alone

   Door to door, arrival routine, done. Ask one question when they are home: "anything on the way you would change?" Then leave it.

What goes in the bag

• A card with your name, your phone number and a second adult's number, in the same pocket every day. Not the child's name on the outside of the bag.
• The route, on paper, even if the child knows it. It is for the day they are asked to take a different way.
• Whatever the arrival routine needs: a charged phone or watch, or nothing, if the routine goes through the school office.
• A small amount of change or a transit card if there is any chance of a bus in bad weather.
• Nothing that needs hands: bags are on backs, lunch is inside, water bottle is clipped. Two free hands at every crossing.
• In winter: light-coloured or reflective something on the front and back. Drivers see the strip, not the child.

The arrival routine

The point of an arrival routine is that you stop watching the clock. Choose one that fits what the child carries, and use the same one every day from Thursday of the first week onward:

• No device: the child checks in at the school office or with a named teacher on arrival for the first two weeks; the school confirms attendance the usual way. Ask the office whether they will do this — most will for a fortnight.
• A basic phone or watch: one message, one word, sent from the school gate: "here". No reply expected, no conversation. If it does not arrive by the "no later than" time, the late plan starts.
• A family locator app: works the same way as the message, with one caution — a location dot is not an arrival. Use an arrival alert for a saved place rather than the map: in Geopapa, our own app, you draw the school as a place once and get a notification when the phone reports itself inside it. Decide in advance that this is "arrived", so that you are not refreshing a map at 8:20. Setting it up takes one evening: connect the child's phone, save the place, test the alert from the school gate on Thursday.

Whichever you pick, the rule for you is the same: do not message first unless the "no later than" time has passed. A child who gets a text at 8:07 asking "are you there yet?" learns that the routine does not count.

After the first week

• Re-walk the route together once after any change on it: roadworks, a new store, a crossing guard who moved.
• Keep the arrival routine for the whole term, not just the first week. The habit is the safety feature.
• Every few weeks, ask the one question again: "anything you would change?" Routes drift; ask before the drift becomes the route.